Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
