Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
