Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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