I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
