i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
