after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
