Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
