It's just like the Real World with babies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
