Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
