Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
