I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
