he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
