idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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