we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
