If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
