new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
