I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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