so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
