okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
