she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
pray to the hookup gods
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
