From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
