if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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