just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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