this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
