i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
