wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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