Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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