why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its not stalking. its research.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
