sarcasm needs its own font
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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