just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
