i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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