people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
