He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
