drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
