She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this just has baby written all over it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
