Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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