I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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