I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize