i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
