Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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