He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
