You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
