"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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