You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think your dad took our porno
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
