Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Help. Why am I so naked?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
