I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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