Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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