After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
