We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He did a backflip because drugs
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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