how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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