it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
