grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
